Showing posts with label Formal D/s. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Formal D/s. Show all posts
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
The Super Secret!
When my wife and I decided to enter the lifestyle jointly We sat down and had a very long talk. Actually, it was an iteration of talks, more like negotiations than anything else. There are things that I am into that she isn't, and there are things that she is into, that are not up my alley. It doesn't mean that they can't happen, it is just something that We have to balance.
Having two Dominants running a House requires clear and concise conversation between Us. Words can't have connotation, they can only have meaning. What I say is what I mean, and what I mean is what I say. Even more so, if I can not communicate with my fellow Dominant then how can I expect to communicate with an s-type? While it may work, the expectation is that I should be able to communicate and leave the ego at the door if needs be.
One of the upsides of Going with a formal House, is that We developed "The Manual". (insert eerie music). It is the structure and basis for what We do. It holds Our expectations for s-types, and even what s-types can expect from Us. Any expectations that an s-type may have outside of those expectations needs to be clearly communicated. If they don't say there is an issue then how can We resolve it? But the most important part of "The Manual" is that it is a guideline. It sets down the basis for the D/s dynamic as We see it. As each s-type relationship develops there may be slight changes to that specific s-types training or expectations, based on their strength and weaknesses.
"The Manual" is by no means set in stone. As Our goals change, or We develop new methodologies or interests "The Manual" will change as well. My co-Dominant has put many hours into refining "The Manual", not because it gets her off, or it is her responsibility, but because that is the time allocation. We each have responsibilities and tasks to complete, just like anyone else. The division of labor is such that maintaining "The Manual" fell under Her purview, plus it is right sexy to see Her working on it! Damn but I love me some intelligent women exercising their brains!
This is part of the secret to Our success. Before advertising, or going out looking for an s-type, We developed Our model. We set it down, We communicated between Us. So that there would be a good understanding and idea of what We wanted. Has it worked Out that way? Not always. But We do have the ideal of what We want!
Happy Hunting!
Having two Dominants running a House requires clear and concise conversation between Us. Words can't have connotation, they can only have meaning. What I say is what I mean, and what I mean is what I say. Even more so, if I can not communicate with my fellow Dominant then how can I expect to communicate with an s-type? While it may work, the expectation is that I should be able to communicate and leave the ego at the door if needs be.
One of the upsides of Going with a formal House, is that We developed "The Manual". (insert eerie music). It is the structure and basis for what We do. It holds Our expectations for s-types, and even what s-types can expect from Us. Any expectations that an s-type may have outside of those expectations needs to be clearly communicated. If they don't say there is an issue then how can We resolve it? But the most important part of "The Manual" is that it is a guideline. It sets down the basis for the D/s dynamic as We see it. As each s-type relationship develops there may be slight changes to that specific s-types training or expectations, based on their strength and weaknesses.
"The Manual" is by no means set in stone. As Our goals change, or We develop new methodologies or interests "The Manual" will change as well. My co-Dominant has put many hours into refining "The Manual", not because it gets her off, or it is her responsibility, but because that is the time allocation. We each have responsibilities and tasks to complete, just like anyone else. The division of labor is such that maintaining "The Manual" fell under Her purview, plus it is right sexy to see Her working on it! Damn but I love me some intelligent women exercising their brains!
This is part of the secret to Our success. Before advertising, or going out looking for an s-type, We developed Our model. We set it down, We communicated between Us. So that there would be a good understanding and idea of what We wanted. Has it worked Out that way? Not always. But We do have the ideal of what We want!
Happy Hunting!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Why a House?
In the leather traditions there are all sorts of labels and methods for organizing ones D/s or M/s relationships. Why do We call ourselves a House?
A House in the leather community is defined as a group or collective of people who practice a formal protocol.
I enjoy the practice of having protocol, it takes away much of the confusion of life. It creates a safe place for Our s-types and really who has not enjoyed coffee service by a person in nothing but panties/ underwear and a collar and cuffs? I enjoy much of the training, much of the refinement that goes with Having a House. Sure it is hard work, but it is hard work that pays dividends.
Our girls know how to approach Us, they know how to talk to Us. They know how to serve and what We enjoy. Plus I not believe that anything has ever been achieved and maintained by consensus. Ultimately there is one person that is responsible for the actions of the House and the actions of the members of the House. That would be the Head of the Household. I may consult other members of the House at my discretion but ultimately I am responsible, which means that in order to be a member of this House, people have to conduct themselves to the level of my expectation. Not society, not theirs...but mine.
A House in the leather community is defined as a group or collective of people who practice a formal protocol.
I enjoy the practice of having protocol, it takes away much of the confusion of life. It creates a safe place for Our s-types and really who has not enjoyed coffee service by a person in nothing but panties/ underwear and a collar and cuffs? I enjoy much of the training, much of the refinement that goes with Having a House. Sure it is hard work, but it is hard work that pays dividends.
Our girls know how to approach Us, they know how to talk to Us. They know how to serve and what We enjoy. Plus I not believe that anything has ever been achieved and maintained by consensus. Ultimately there is one person that is responsible for the actions of the House and the actions of the members of the House. That would be the Head of the Household. I may consult other members of the House at my discretion but ultimately I am responsible, which means that in order to be a member of this House, people have to conduct themselves to the level of my expectation. Not society, not theirs...but mine.
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