The sexualization of a Lifestyle

There are thousands of possibly millions of post out there about BDSM and sex. One of the questions that is a recurrent theme is, why does everyone think it is about sex? Or is it really just kinky sex. Partially the answer can be yes and no, depending on which letters you are talking about. In the age of the internet the first impression most folks get of the lifestyle is sex.

Personal ad sites that have pictures of women and men in various states of undress assault the new comers eyes. Most leather relationships involve a large component of sex. I can troll site after site of "lonely female seeking strict Master" and get my fill of nudity, why pay for porn at all? Likewise I have seen more male genatallia than bears mentioning from the "have you hit puberty" to the "you think you are sticking that where" variety.

To the newcomers, dare I say uninitiated, there is a very strong case for this lifestyle being about sex on first blush. Joining chat rooms where there is flirtatious activities if not outright sex going on, to the search that uncovers their first "real" club. Most activities in the lifestyle are about arousal and sex. We heighten the senses, we play...there is only a very small subset of the community that may actually take a deeper interest in the lifestyle than what happens in between the proverbial sheets.

Constant calls of make me your whore, your slut, your cunt. I want to be used by my Master/ Mistress.... assault the newcomer at every turn. (Not necessarily at them directly but that is the exposure). Coming into the lifestyle there were those that had a mentor that to an extent may have been able to temper that, but for most of the newer generation that simply does not exist. I can sit at my computer for years staring at pictures and reading stories that almost always end in sexual conquest of some sort or another, and what should I think with no one to tell me otherwise, or show me a lifestyle that is about D/s.

I would venture to say that most S/m play is almost always sexually geared, either as foreplay or as the entree of the sexual evening. I may not have sex with my s-type immediately after, but it does get the juices flowing.

So, as a part of that sub-set that actually engages in a 24/7 lifestyle I am frustrated by the propensity for this lifestyle to always be about sex, but having been in it for quite some time I can understand it. I don't endorse it but I do understand it.