The Super Secret!

When my wife and I decided to enter the lifestyle jointly We sat down and had a very long talk. Actually, it was an iteration of talks, more like negotiations than anything else. There are things that I am into that she isn't, and there are things that she is into, that are not up my alley. It doesn't mean that they can't happen, it is just something that We have to balance.

Having two Dominants running a House requires clear and concise conversation between Us. Words can't have connotation, they can only have meaning. What I say is what I mean, and what I mean is what I say. Even more so, if I can not communicate with my fellow Dominant then how can I expect to communicate with an s-type? While it may work, the expectation is that I should be able to communicate and leave the ego at the door if needs be.

One of the upsides of Going with a formal House, is that We developed "The Manual". (insert eerie music). It is the structure and basis for what We do. It holds Our expectations for s-types, and even what s-types can expect from Us. Any expectations that an s-type may have outside of those expectations needs to be clearly communicated. If they don't say there is an issue then how can We resolve it? But the most important part of "The Manual" is that it is a guideline. It sets down the basis for the D/s dynamic as We see it. As each s-type relationship develops there may be slight changes to that specific s-types training or expectations, based on their strength and weaknesses.

"The Manual" is by no means set in stone. As Our goals change, or We develop new methodologies or interests "The Manual" will change as well. My co-Dominant has put many hours into refining "The Manual", not because it gets her off, or it is her responsibility, but because that is the time allocation. We each have responsibilities and tasks to complete, just like anyone else. The division of labor is such that maintaining "The Manual" fell under Her purview, plus it is right sexy to see Her working on it! Damn but I love me some intelligent women exercising their brains!

This is part of the secret to Our success. Before advertising, or going out looking for an s-type, We developed Our model. We set it down, We communicated between Us. So that there would be a good understanding and idea of what We wanted. Has it worked Out that way? Not always. But We do have the ideal of what We want!

Happy Hunting!

Need to Know

There are many arguments from all walks of life, about how much to tell families and loved ones. It seems that a policy of full disclosure has become the norm. But the question remains why?

As a habit I don't tell my family what sexual positions me and my wife prefer. So when it comes to lifestyle the question still remains...Why? Many people have families, or members thereof that really don't want to know. By telling them, you are only creating drama. People have this look of stunned disbelief as their families or parts of it disown them. Families refuse to talk to them, or otherwise shun them. So what is the happy medium?

You grew up with your families, you know what their views are, sure they may change when it is "one of their own". But be honest with yourself, be honest with whomever you are involved with. Do I care if I won't be invited over for Christmas dinner? Not really.

But be aware that this is the decision point of your life, there are people who will make you choose. Tell your family or I will walk.

One of my thought points on this is that yes my family is important, but they are my past. The family I have now, my intentional family, my House is my future. My family can accept that or not. Now if they ever did come to visit, sure we would tone down our behavior as a courtesy. But much of what happens in this House is "bedroom" activity. If it isn't, then it is the most mundane of activities. No matter how leather we are, the cat litter still needs to be done. The dishes still need cleaned, and the trash still needs pulled, and let us not forget about budgets to be balanced.

So think carefully...What does the family need to know? What compromise are you and your partner(s) willing to make? If the answer is none, then the response is your responsibility to deal with. We each have those choices to make, and no they can not be unmade, welcome to the real world

Equal Opportunity...

Lest we get too far into this blog and not have some perspective allow me to lay some settle some concerns that may be forth coming.

I am not about keeping women down, I am all about them rising and falling on their own merit. My co-Dominant within the structure of the House is also my wife. I am the Head of the Household due to some fairly mundane reasons. While she is NOMINALLY subordinate to me, she is in no way submissive to me. We came to this agreement prior to setting the House up and have maintained it as such because the reasons are still valid. In the event that I am absent she has full authority and ability to execute the actions required for the House to run smoothly.

Likewise I have trained both male and female s-types over the course of the years. I am all about male submissives as I am about female submissives, as long as the meet the criteria set for the House. Most of what male submissives are into is pretty ick and very few are actually looking for a male Dominant.

We currently do have a couple of females that are under consideration by the House, is this a social statement? Not in the least, is it the relationship that makes everyone happy? Very, very, very much so. It is the market of what is available and who is interested in what We are offering.

If perhaps someday there are male and female s-types involved. They will each be judged on their abilities as individuals, not what is, or is not hanging between their legs. In the past We have had males that have come to Us to seek training or potentially a position in Our House, and that so did not work out well. From basic tasks all the way up to recitation. Overall the females, in general who have applied to the House or applied themselves to the training material have done substantially better than the males. So does that mean that while I am all about voluntary female submission, I am pro-female? hmmmm vaguely ironic.

Ansuz
House Sarcasm